Yes, I hate waiting. Every mom and dad out there has told me that I should enjoy these final days before baby - get some rest, go out to eat, etc. My rational side understands that advice completely. However, my hatred of waiting just wants the band-aid off and baby here already. I've always been this way. When I make a decision to make a change in my life, I'm ready to make that change. I've thought about it too much probably and I just want to dive right in and get started.
So, here I am - off bed rest (absolutely not suffering from pre eclampsia), still 3 centimeters dilated, 75% effaced with general discomfort and a feeling of enormity. Yes, yes, it's all a blessing and I'll forget everything as I fawn over my most precious little boy - and I so look forward to that feeling. However, before I forget, boys and girls without children, I would like to share some of the symptoms of pregnancy that no one ever talked about in front of me. Ladies, all pregnancies are different, so this list is just my passing on what I learned. Gentlemen, just be ready, cuz I know nobody is telling you anything.
Don't worry, I'm not getting too graphic here. In general, I don't believe in grossing people out.
1. Pregnancy is actually 40 weeks, or 10 months. It is calculated from the last menstrual cycle and not conception or the discovery of pregnancy. This makes answering the question, "How far along are you?" very difficult for the spatially challenged like myself. In addition, your baby can come any time after completing 36 weeks and be considered full term. Depending on your doctor and hospital, you can choose to be induced or plan a scheduled c-section during these last 3 weeks. Yes, you can decide these things preemptively. And a little of my personal opinion - it's not that the baby isn't ready to come out, it's that your body hasn't gotten the clue that it can let go.
2. Nausea doesn't necessarily end at the end of the first trimester. And believe it or not, some people don't get nauseous at all. Still love these people even though you curse them in private. Please consider eating frequently when you're feeling sick. You'll be surprised by your weight gain, but a fuller stomach can prevent the upchucks. Find whatever doesn't offend your tastes at the time and eat it when you feel sick to your stomach. And, unfortunately, you can hate Mexican food the day after you become pregnant even though it is your favorite food in life.
3. Maternity clothes suck. If you had trouble finding clothes that fit your body type prior to getting pregnant, expect having an exponentially more difficult time after getting pregnant. JCPenny online has cheaper, staple clothes and they carry a lot more elastic than pregnancy bands in their pants. Pregnancy bands are too loose in the beginning and too tight in the end and those pants are always more expensive anyway. Also, there is some allowance for the well-endowed woman in the tops. By the way, buy maternity clothes and slip on shoes before you need them. This gives you time to pick out what you like. Slip on shoes are a non-negotiable.
4. Pregnancy body pillows are not normal body pillows. Get a contoured, snake looking pillow. Mine is called a Snoogle. It allows you to sit up and lay on your side more comfortably than anything else. Don't deny yourself - regular pillows don't do it.
5. Join Costco just for the Tums. I understand that you may not want to medicate yourself during pregnancy. However, if you are afflicted with heart burn/acid reflux during pregnancy, you will truly feel like you will develop a hole in your throat if you don't eventually do something about it. Regardless of the amount of Tums that you take, you will sleep at an upright angle for at least the final trimester of your pregnancy.
6. You may be one of the lucky ones to get what I call the "pins and needles". This is a feeling of someone pushing about 10 needles in side of you at one time. The cause of this unwelcomed pain is not labor. In fact this is when the baby is pushing his head on the cervix prior to actually being able to get out. This can happen for months before your due date. For me, it got more intense closer to time.
7. You can dilate without feeling it. However, you can be dilated and effaced for weeks without going into labor. Regardless, I feel like I cheated and got ahead and I'm sticking with that.
8. Hemorrhoids are not just for after labor. The baby pushing down and weighing on you can cause them. There are 4 levels or hemorrhoids, doncha know - not pleasant and definitely unexpected.
9. Let your partner help you all the time. I can only imagine, but it must be hard on them to be on the outside looking in all the time. Letting them do things for you is not a sign of weakness, but it is truly beneficial to you both. Take a few orders gracefully from time to time and decline with compassion when you need to. And thank your partner for all of the wonderful things he is doing for you. I've never felt more appreciative of and love for Nathan than these past few months.
10. Pregnancy affects memory and logic. As a woman who prides herself on thinking through multiple facets of existence and experience, this has been a tough one to accept. Apparently, it doesn't return right away when the baby comes. I have talked with pregnant or mommy friends of mine and we just giggle as we try to think of names of places that are right around the corner.
Looking at all of these points, my final thought is Be kind to yourself, momma! and Be genuinely attentive, dad! We'll just have to see what I think of this blog after the baby gets here. It feels like an eternity now and it will probably seem like a drop in the bucket once he's home with us.
Here's hoping the next blog is about baby's arrival!
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